Random thoughts and an attempt to put them in words..
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“ Main supurdd karti hoon khud ko os main jo teri chahat hai, mujhe bakshh de wo bhi jo meri chahat hai, kyun k ho ga wohi jo teri chahat hai… shayad main ne na-farmani ki os ki jo teri chahat hai … Main thak gaii hoon is main jo meri chahat hain, bilakhir wohi hoa jo teri chahat hai”
I can’t move a muscle without you, they say, but I don’t think about you when I move my legs or toss my hair back. Can I generate all the action potentials you generate on your commands in my body? How does this work? As I am typing, I look down at my fingers pressing the keys so fast I loose track sometimes. How does this happen?
Why did you make it so fast? Why did you make it so random? Why did you make so many emotions in a person? Why did you make so many people?
People, there are so many of them I want to talk to but I cant. I don’t see a point in crying my heart out to my so-called-friends that are no less than strangers. How can you be sure you know somebody inside out? They say, no matter how well you think you know somebody they still have secrets.
My question is where do I seek refuge from life? Where do I hide myself? How to I distract myself? How far will I go with this? How do I keep going? Is my willpower strong enough? Or is there something I am terribly missing?
Will power? It is strong; I have to admit that. I have tremendous faith in me. But I did not realize it would be so hard growing up wanting to do what I want. Perhaps I realized today –truly- that I am no less than a person seeking forgiveness for acts I might have performed unintentionally.
What would I have done?
Why do I feel I am running in circles when I am actually not? It’s been 4 months; I need an energy booster Allah! You know my will power is too strong for all this but could it be for something else? I have strong faith in you and I believe all the bad times are to test me and I assure you… you will find me closer each time I am bashed by the worldly acts.
I am satisfied with the fact that I will find a way or shall I say, you will make one for me. I know You haven’t taught me to bow down, I know you haven’t taught me to break and you haven’t made me weak. I know I can’t be trashed, I can’t be blasted, I can’t be damaged. I know this because I know You.
I am walking towards you… and you promised… you would run toward me.
I can’t move a muscle without you, they say, but I don’t think about you when I move my legs or toss my hair back. Can I generate all the action potentials you generate on your commands in my body? How does this work? As I am typing, I look down at my fingers pressing the keys so fast I loose track sometimes. How does this happen?
Why did you make it so fast? Why did you make it so random? Why did you make so many emotions in a person? Why did you make so many people?
People, there are so many of them I want to talk to but I cant. I don’t see a point in crying my heart out to my so-called-friends that are no less than strangers. How can you be sure you know somebody inside out? They say, no matter how well you think you know somebody they still have secrets.
My question is where do I seek refuge from life? Where do I hide myself? How to I distract myself? How far will I go with this? How do I keep going? Is my willpower strong enough? Or is there something I am terribly missing?
Will power? It is strong; I have to admit that. I have tremendous faith in me. But I did not realize it would be so hard growing up wanting to do what I want. Perhaps I realized today –truly- that I am no less than a person seeking forgiveness for acts I might have performed unintentionally.
What would I have done?
Why do I feel I am running in circles when I am actually not? It’s been 4 months; I need an energy booster Allah! You know my will power is too strong for all this but could it be for something else? I have strong faith in you and I believe all the bad times are to test me and I assure you… you will find me closer each time I am bashed by the worldly acts.
I am satisfied with the fact that I will find a way or shall I say, you will make one for me. I know You haven’t taught me to bow down, I know you haven’t taught me to break and you haven’t made me weak. I know I can’t be trashed, I can’t be blasted, I can’t be damaged. I know this because I know You.
I am walking towards you… and you promised… you would run toward me.
1 comments:
a very nice portrayal of inside out feelings - gives my cerebration a stimulation, my numbness a sensation, my thoughts a junction, my feelings an exclamation, my whispers a vociferation, my sadness a depression, my screams an impression, my woes a suspiration, my prayers a continuation .. my WHYs a direction - - - hope our questions get to get answers before we meet our ultimate destination!
grow happy - wish you peace !!
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